Saturday, June 21, 2008

Lord of the Flies - Capital's Unofficial Traffic Handbook

Driving in some suburban parts of Delhi, NOIDA, Ghaziabad etc. is like an exercise in unlearning the traffic rules. Everyday one or the other intersection would have its traffic light broken while on some others they would be well functioning but 'courteously' ignored. By 'courteously' I meant that you just slow down to acknowledge the traffic coming from the other directions and then proceed ignoring them until they come close to you within a dangerous distance at which point you MUST act.
  • If you think that you will pass before the other hits you or vice-versa, speed-up or slow-down accordingly.
  • If what you thought went wrong, then bring your vehicle to a complete halt right in the middle of the intersection where you are. You will notice that the other vehicle will do the same. Infact not just the other vehicle, but the all the vehicles surrounding you two will halt. This state is technically termed as 'Traffic Jam' and locally as 'Jaam'. In this state, it is customary to keep honking even though its crystal clear that it won't do any good. You will notice that not just you but all your surrounding vehicles will be honking too. If yes, you are going good. Next, you have to hand-signal the other driver or he will signal you (depending on who is weaker) yielding you the right of way.
  • At times though not occassionally, the drivers of the critical two vehicles who caused the 'Jaam' might desert their vehicles and come out to 'physically' decide who should get the right of way. In that case, just sit back, relax and enjoy the flight (oops! fight). If you like to see the real action going on, you may walk to the fight scene but I would suggest sitting in the car and if you are with family - spending quality time with them, calling loved ones or even catching up on the day's paper.

What amazes is the fact that on one hand all this is caused because everyone is too impatient to wait for the green signal, on the other, you will find a heavenly calm on the drivers faces whose have gotten face to face in the rush. Whosoever's fault it might be, its forgiven (may be because both of them are at fault). And what you get see after that is an incredible display of coordination between the drivers to release the deadlock while the trafficman stands afar wondering what to do.

[statutory warning : Ofcourse, everything was intended to be a satire]

Anyways, wrote something after a long time. Do read below :-)


Seldom after dark
when he took a walk
in the woods on the hill
the chill of the mist
in lukewarm moon
covered with shroud
of thick white fog
I did never realize
that he was blind.
He walked with
quiet assurance
in such a stead
and such a tread
all by himself
I never realized
that he was blind.
Only when today
he stumbled aside
by chance by mistake
and fumbled like crazy
in haste and waste
and cried thru silence
"help me someone
I have no eyes".
I rose up from lair
"Calm down man
but keep talking
even I can't see"