Ek Gumshuda Khwaab (A missing dream)

Hopped on to this movie called 'choti si baat' just by chance. Was surprised to find that the following song is from this film only.

Haven't finished the movie yet, but the rib-tickling bus-stand romance of Amol Palekar and Vidya Sinha is already making me want to toast a few lines.

एक गुमशुदा ख्वाब

है कोई ख्वाब
क्यों मुझे याद
नहीं आता है

किसी धुंध की
चुनरी में
दुबक जाता है

किसी फूल
की गोदी में
सिमट जाता है

किसी गैर के
कमरे में
सो जाता है

कभी हवा
कभी पानी में
घुल जाता है

किसी मर्ज़
किसी दर्द
सा तड़पाता है

जिस रोज़ तुम्हे
बस स्टैंड पे
खड़ा पाया था

बस उसी रात
वो गुमशुदा ख्वाब

मिल पाया था

Mob vs Individual

I am the mob
who suppresses
my individual,
so-called heretic,
aspirations
which talk of
change.

The mob in me
kills
the individual in me
every time.

My Experiments with Solitude - Living Alone 2

And here comes part 2, much better than part 1(i.e the first few days). I guess I had made a mistake by judging it prematurely before even passing a week :). Part of the dilemma could have been due to the house not being set-up , no food & grocery and hence it was somewhat uncomfortable and that too all of a sudden. Though house isn't set up even now ( am working on it ), things are already becoming better and infact setting up the house might be some fun stuff too :) . And I also need to start cooking soon.

Living with friends is surely fun..no doubt..and I do miss that at times. But still wanted to live alone for a while..may be just for an experience i guess..may be because I always thought that I should do it once.. .

Anyways, Looks like its going to be interesting seven months ahead !!

My experiments with solitude - Living Alone

[The following text is updated from the last time as are my changing views towards living alone. I guess its a change and every change deals with transients and changing opinions..that phase is still not over for me]

The more you try to find out about life, the more you get sucked into it .. when the whole exercise was actually to emerge out of it. Generally, you restrict your search to your imagination and your thoughts as to why we do certain things..why we feel good or bad or happy or sad about something..

But sometimes, You kind of take another step forward (for good or for bad you don't know) into some mysterious territories to gain a first hand experience of some scenarios which you don't get to experience in general.

Living Alone has been my recent step in that direction. And it has been very funny since then. Every day has been like omg!! So this is what it means to live alone. Ask friends, u might get conflicting views. You were getting conflicting views even before you started living this way. Infact, that was the reason you went ahead and tested the waters yourself (though i agree that always isn't the wisest thing to do). Anyways, sometimes you've got to do some things.

So, coming back to what how I am feeling. Yes, living alone is boring a bit .. but only initally ., But unlike what i was told, the boredom is reducing as each day passes. And I am kind of getting used to the surroundings. Part of the reason which makes it a little bad in my case is that currently I don't know anyone in the neighborhood. Anyways, now that I am face to face with solitude, lets befriend it. :)

अब जब तू रू-ब-रू है मेरे

तुझसे ही दो बातें हो जाएँ

The CountDown - Day 0

OK..HERE IT COMES.. Happy B'day to me...
Also, I end my week long 'zindagi' series today..
Its evident that I didn't touch quite a few topics that are so quintessential to life.. For e.g Batra complained all the while that I m not talking about 'love'.. He was totally right. And in fact I had asked this question to myself too while thinking what all things I want to write about. Love is indeed very hard to escape when you are talking of life. But, and unfortunately, these days I am quite disillusioned by 'love'. It seems out of my mind, out of my thoughts. And I don't want to bring it in atleast for a while. So, I don't think I would have done least justice to this wonderful institution had I tried to write about it. All I could say to him was ..

आज दिल की बात हमसे न करवाओ
बात दिल से नहीं आएगी

-------

Anyways, so my sis told me 28th sept is also 'daughters day'..
Now, listen to this..
Mummy made a cake for my B'day and took it to my sis. Sis pulled her leg saying "today is daughter's day. And you made a cake for your son!!" What did mummy say ?
Any guesses ?

OK..she said "Its sunday"
..
..
..
..
..
got it ?
(read 'sunday' as 'son-day')

I thought omg!! ma u r smart!!
(I know sis is going to kill me for blogging this :-) )

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Birthdays after Birthdays we grow older and older.. keep losing our innocence..keep learning this world..
But for ma, we are always where we started..

माँ तो अब भी वैसे ही पालती है हमें
और वो कहते हैं हम आज पच्हीस हुए

Two lovely songs r coming to me. Am embedding them below. Can't resist listening to them again.

So bye bye..
Thanks for reading this series.

The CountDown - Day 1

Opened my palms and stared at those deep engraved lines. They stared right back at me !!

Found this piece lying around that I wrote in Austin on a similar note..

छोटी सी एक हथेली

छोटी सी एक हथेली
हथेली पे घुद्मुद लकीरें
लकीरों में छुपी
एक करारी कहानी
कहानी ऐसी कि
चिल्ला के बोली
ना ना ना
मुझको ना पढना
अगर पढ़ लिया
तो किसी को न कहना
राज़ मेरे
ही हैं मेरा गहना |
सुन ओ मुन्नी रानी
तेरी प्यारी हंसी
नहीं मैं भी कोई
मामूली छड़ी
बड़ी चुलबुली मैं
बड़ी बावरी,
कभी जो चटाऊँ
मिर्ची का दाना
कभी घोल दूं
मिसरी की बड़ी |
मेरे साथ चल
करेंगे शैतानी ,
बुलाते हैं सब
मुझे ज़िन्दगानी |

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[BTW, I ll end this 'zindagi' series (which started with Day 6) with one more post .. that for Day-zero (the intent was to have 7 posts in total - one for each day of the week..). So ek baar aur aa jaana :)]

The CountDown - Day 2

After Laughter come tears
So next time I cry Don't ask me why

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Thanks to Batra for telling me about this movie that we watched in hostel .. Gegen die Wand.. Heres a song from it .. u ll know why



Now, I have lots of sleeping debt to repay from this past week..
so gudnight!! c u tomm..