Saw Kannathil Muthaittal (A peck on the cheek) this evening. Its a Tamil film by Manirathnam about a 9-yr old girl whose biological parents were snatched away from her by the ensuing civil war in srilanka. She is brought up by an Indian couple in Madras. When she is told about this fact, she is adamant to meet her biological mother. Her step-parents try to fulfill her wish amidst the war-torn areas and bloody shootouts.
Very moving and overwhelming at times. Did Make me cry. To be honest, there is a sense of relief when I cry for it tells me that I can feel someone's pain. But something Amudha (the girl in the film) said made me realize that its a different thing to feel the pain than to live it. When she is finally able to meet her biological mother after a series of narrow escapes from bombings and strike zones, she begs her to come to Madras. When she tries to convince her "There is no war, no army in Madras", I tried to imagine how much hatred she might grow up with towards her own country's soldiers. Its that same Army, the same soldiers and their same martyrdom which all grew up not just respecting but worshipping. But for Amudha, it might not be the same. Her hatred towards her soldiers might be an inseparable part of her pain.
So, may be I will never be able to feel her pain the way she does. I don't know if its for good or bad but it bothers me. In the end I am just left with the question "Does no one have an answer to this Political violence ? " again & again.
2 comments:
Chins wrote a wonderful reply about this post from another perspective, the one about adoption. She allowed me to publish it here.
"What you said is very true...it is very rarely that someone else can understand in full measure what a person feels or goes through. One the one hand, you can make light of the situation by acknowledging the fact that adoption is quite common these days, and this is another such story. Probably pushing such thoughts into Amudha's head would have made the pain less severe. Had I been in Amudha's position, I have a sense that my parents would have probably tried to console me by telling me that there are so many kids like me and that I should concentrate on the joy that I have known with this family all my life. But then again, these things are very subjective, what a person feels is a function not only of their environment but also of their inner self. Two people who are brought up in identical environments may end up being diametrically opposite human beings.
Its hard to say that Amudha can ever attain closure with respect to her mother. She will hate the army, no doubt, because its the easiest element to hate. It is impossible to hate her mother totally, because she is her mother after all, and she has experienced loving her mother even if it was for just one rainy morning. It is difficult to hate the rebel movement in Sri Lanka, because as much as it is equally responsible in her separation from her mother, it is something her mother supports. Her love for her mother will likely cause her to believe, or atleast want to believe that her mother also truly loves her and if her mother says she cant come right now, then what she must be doing is very very very important. Amudha has to hate something to ease her pain, and I think she will hate the army because she has no other choice. She might see things differently as she grows older, but the chances are slim. I'm sure you will agree with me that there are some things that are dear to us only because they are dear to someone we love.
I know that you were focussed more on Amudha's feelings and how they relate to political violence and I went off on a tangent about feelings of being adopted :) Its probably because it was that aspect that touched me more. Regarding political violence, I doubt there is ever a correct answer to it. As long as there is politics, as long as there are thinking individuals, as long as there is difference of opinion (inevitable), there is no solution. We are social animals, and we need a society with rules...we cannot have every individual following their own rules. And there is always going to be someone who is not happy with the rules and the way things are. Forget politics, we experience that everyday with little things in our own lives. And as simple as the problem may be, it has no solution until you can make everyone involved see things the same way. And trust me, thats the most difficult task of all :(
One final note on adoption and families. I believe what makes a family is a group of people who love each other dearly and can go out of the way for each other. There is no set definition for who makes up a family. It is just that "most" families have a mommy, a daddy, grandpa, grandmom, and kids. But there are all kinds of families....some kids have just a mommy, some just a daddy, some just a mommy and daddy with no kids, some with just grand parents. What is more important than having a family is to have a happy family...I would feel very blessed if I had a happy family...even if my family consisted of only friends."
hey... ur piece here totally makes me want to check this movie out...
u know my friend dhaky hr has grown up a tamil in srilanka of those days, she says that whenevr a bomb noise was heard anywhr ard them, it would naturally mean a shell or a blast went off sumwhr near... and she puts it pretty simply as though its ok, its routine!! howmuchever i try to dig in and ask her if that kind of a growing environment ever bothered her.. she gives a plain no.. they had all the fun any child shud hv, but sumhow all the war times and shootouts etc were sumthings routine for them..thats how sad the situation is..
and btw chinmayi di's comment above is too too good... i absolutely like the last bit... a 'family' is wid u come watever, they support u, irrespective of all things in the world... i personally feel for Amudha in this movie (going by ur description, i hvnt seen the movie) but i think her entire experience after being to srilanka n seeng her 'real' mother,will make her value the 'real family' she has been having for so many years right by her side n hw much she means to them..
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